Oddjob

Chinese President Hu Jintao arrived at the White House on Wednesday, welcomed by choreographed crowds bussed in from Chicago, who enthusiastically waved the flags of the United States, China and Walmart.

Hu sported a nicely tailored steel rimmed bowler hat. In order to amplify his point that the United States now owes the People's Republic of Red Communist China a trillion bucks, Hu flung the bowler hat directly at Obama, and whopped him upside the head. Then, according to reports at the TMZ website, Hu beat Obama with his shoe, like a red headed step child at rival K-Mart.

Later, with obvious bruises and whelps on his face, Obama claimed he "fell."

Hu Jintao

Obama and his minions have unleashed what amounts to diplomatic fellatio for the visiting Chinesemens. It won't help. They want they monies, and they won't take no check, neither.

I'm reminded of the "Family Guy" episode in which Brian borrowed money from Stewie. In order to make Brian repay the debt, Stewie beat him with (among other things) a towel bar, and then set him on fire with a blow torch. China won't be as patient as Stewie.
Obama will be remembered for what is likely the dumbest and most inappropriate gifts ever given to dignitaries. He presented non-working DVDs to the Prime Minister of Great Britain, an ipod or some Apple gadget, to the Queen of England, and Japanese porn (with that annoying masking) to the Pope.

What did the President give to America's Banker, President Hu Jintao? Incredibly, Obama presented him with a gift card good at participating Pei Wei Chinese takeaway, and a deluxe set of Chinese Checkers (Made in China). That's just racist.

At least the President stuck to a Chinese theme. To the state dinner tonight, the Obamas invited Bonanza's "Hop Sing," actor Jackie Chan, and figure skater Michelle Kwan.

Hop Sing

I'm lying about some of that.

Walmart will be remembered for getting us in this debt mess with China, for having destroyed small town America, for forcing on us those awful bi-lingual signs, creating fat people (no offense to myself), and for selling televisions that cost about $9.00.

China will be remembered because it invented Chinese food, paper, silk, a language that most of us can't learn, and for having the ability to lose 400 million people in a war.

Obama should pay the debt to Red Communist China and stop sucking up. They are mean, and they aren't our friends.

We should stop shopping at Walmart -- at least until they open up more of the 56 (probably fake) check-out stands.

Ever notice those buggies loaded with stuff in the aisle by the service desk? Those were abandoned by people who'd shopped for hours and planned to purchase all that crap. Then, seeing the eternal lines at the two open registers, they realized they didn't need all that stuff after all.

It's all Truman's fault if you think about it.

©Randall P. Hodge, Esq., and Morningwood Enterprises, Ltd.