I am anxious to hear Governor Palin speak tomorrow night at the hideously boring Republican National Convention. It is difficult for me to get excited about it, as I'm not a big fan of the nominee, Senator John McCain. For the life of me, I cannot understand how it is that we are stuck with the nominees we have to choose from, McCain and the muslim Obama.
Perhaps we should nuke Iowa. It is, after all, the Iowa Caucuses that generally saddle America with its worst Presidents, e.g., Jimmy Carter. Iowa caucus goers have almost derailed the candidacies of such heaven-sent men as Ronald Reagan. Reagan was sent by the Almighty, as He, too, was sick of watching Carter screw up His favorite nation. Anyway, my point, and I sometimes get to it, is this. Goofy Iowa has a Governor named Nutsack, or something like that, and the state stuck us with the muslim Obama, when it handed Hillary Clinton an unexpected defeat. My candidate, Mitt Romney, also lost the caucus. So stuck we are with Obama, the muslim anti-Christ, and McCain, the…old and unexciting (but his wife likes pills).
I like Sarah Palin.
I'd heard of her before, but I knew she was a long shot for the job. She is conservative (she is the only one running) and, most importantly, she is attractive. Her entire family is beautiful. I think Maureen Dowd referred to her husband Todd as "hunky." Funny. Superficial. Shallow. I read Maureen every time she posts her column at the New York Times website.
Here's why I like Sarah. She can speak. I didn't know how well she could speak until last Friday. She is obviously a natural. McCain waddled out there and was barely able to tell us why he was there. McCain could not suck more as a speaker, unless he took lessons from W. Sarah walked out and wowed everyone. After eight long years of Bush the Dumb, it is enlightening and refreshing to hear someone who is eloquent and intelligent. Girlfriend wasn't even using a teleprompter, that I could see. She can pronounce words. She knows what the words mean. Think of this!
This is just a psychic impression I have of Sarah Palin. I think she is the kind of leader who comes along now and then like Ronald Reagan, Margaret Thatcher, or Harry Truman. They almost accidentally end up in the right position at the right time. Their natural, God given gifts take over, and they perform brilliantly, and in the way their country needs most.
The press are harping about her inexperience. I don't care. After eight long years of Bush the Dumb, I am ready to take a chance on someone – ANYONE -- who can speak and think and analyze and listen – and whatnot. Imagine Sarah Palin is President, and the muslims pull one of their war starting stunts. She would be briefed on the situation, and aides would present various options. She strikes me as the kind of person who'd consider, ponder, think, pray, and then make the right decision. That's what we need in the White House. Someone who can communicate. Someone with common sense. Someone who isn't afraid to try new things. Someone who has faith. Someone who values life. Someone who is sober. Oh, and someone who is a babe and dresses well.
In the early 90's when Sarah Palin was getting started in local government, Barack Obama was probably organizing Rodney King riots in Chicago.
Obama's evil minions have been whispering about Governor Palin's daughter being quick with child. So? I think some of it is almost funny. A friend of mine said, "all that tells us is she puts out." That was wrong, and I am repeating it only as an example of the sort of thing one should not say. Jay Leno said John Edwards is the father. That was wrong too.
I sincerely wish the babydaddy, a young man named Levi Johnston, had not taken down his MySpace page before I had a chance to see it. Evidently, he is sort of a thug, which is a good quality to have if one plays hockey, and he does. "Sex on Skates," the New York Magazine called him. I read some place that on his now defunct MySpace page, he says the eff word a lot and promises to beat up anyone who crosses him. He sounds like he'd be sort of fun to watch and read about…in a "Billy Carter" sort of way. But Levi is one babydaddy who is going to wish he'd just gone home and watched porn. If you know what I'm sayin. The media are going to make his life miserable. Maybe, just MAYBE, he will slug someone, or at least tell a reporter to eff off on live camera.
I'd be willing to bet that for all the challenges they face, Bristol and Levi will marry and stay that way for about 65 years.
Still, I cannot imagine anything that is less relevant to this election than Bristol's pregnancy. I am glad she is going to have the baby, as he or she might grow up and cure cancer, or invent another boner pill. One never knows what one of the nearly 50 million aborted might have done. The dry comic Stephen Wright used to have a line in his routine. "I had a dream once. All the aborted babies came back, and boy were they pissed."
But I digress.
It is difficult to imagine the outrage if the Republicans started harping on Obama's mother. Girlfriend went to college in the early 60's, and she took up with, of all possible choices in Hawaii at that time, an exchange student from darkest Africa. Frrrl. I don't mean that racist. It had to be a real "Guess who's coming to Dinner" moment the first time daughter brought that dude home. Every parent's nightmare, especially in those days. Then what did the guy do? He ran off and left the young girl with THE OBAMASSIAH -- a baby, in a manger, wrapped in swaddling clothes and whatnot. She must have had some sort of muslim thing going, because she married another one, and the happy family ended up in a madrasa (مدرسة, for my muslim readers) in Indonesia. You can't make this stuff up. With Obama, is isn't necessary to fabricate.
I doubt the New York Times has ever run three front page stories of this juicy Obama stuff on the same day. Tuesday, the Times ran three front page stories about the Palin family. On the same day, son. None focused on young Track Palin, who is about to be deployed to Iraq, or on Governor Palin's hair care products. For a real shocker, look at the cover of this week's "Us" magazine. "Us" has always been a bit on the shady side.
So I am kind of proud of McCain for picking Sarah Palin as his running mate. I don't know what he was on when he decided to do it, but I hope he keeps taking it. The racist and sexist Obama picked an old white dude to be his running mate. See? With Obama, a sister doesn't have a chance. In contrast, McCain picked a gifted and intelligent woman, and "baby got back," as Obama would say when the cameras were turned off.
I mean everything I've written about Obama in a nice way.
I believe Governor Palin is going to electrify the convention, and she will attract the largest television audience since the last African who spoke in Denver. If this happens, they might win. It was a good sign that after Obama's satanic allies conjured up Hurricane Gustav to mess up the convention, McCain's evangelicals prayed it down to a category 2 – thus saving hot, smelly New Orleans, and the Republican National Convention in cool, clean Minneapolis. And Mary Richards.
With any luck, the ridiculous stories about Governor Palin will go away. Still, I fear that somewhere in Alaska, lives and lurks a mullet having, wife beater wearin', wal-mart shoppin', broke down car in the front yard havin', meth smokin' thug, who hung on to some nekkid pictures of Sarah Palin (he will claim she was his "fiancé," and that she would have wanted him to sell the pictures to "Hustler.") I hope not, but these things happen. Just ask Vanessa Williams.
Until the voices inside my head tell me to write again, I am,
Perhaps we should nuke Iowa. It is, after all, the Iowa Caucuses that generally saddle America with its worst Presidents, e.g., Jimmy Carter. Iowa caucus goers have almost derailed the candidacies of such heaven-sent men as Ronald Reagan. Reagan was sent by the Almighty, as He, too, was sick of watching Carter screw up His favorite nation. Anyway, my point, and I sometimes get to it, is this. Goofy Iowa has a Governor named Nutsack, or something like that, and the state stuck us with the muslim Obama, when it handed Hillary Clinton an unexpected defeat. My candidate, Mitt Romney, also lost the caucus. So stuck we are with Obama, the muslim anti-Christ, and McCain, the…old and unexciting (but his wife likes pills).
I like Sarah Palin.
I'd heard of her before, but I knew she was a long shot for the job. She is conservative (she is the only one running) and, most importantly, she is attractive. Her entire family is beautiful. I think Maureen Dowd referred to her husband Todd as "hunky." Funny. Superficial. Shallow. I read Maureen every time she posts her column at the New York Times website.
Here's why I like Sarah. She can speak. I didn't know how well she could speak until last Friday. She is obviously a natural. McCain waddled out there and was barely able to tell us why he was there. McCain could not suck more as a speaker, unless he took lessons from W. Sarah walked out and wowed everyone. After eight long years of Bush the Dumb, it is enlightening and refreshing to hear someone who is eloquent and intelligent. Girlfriend wasn't even using a teleprompter, that I could see. She can pronounce words. She knows what the words mean. Think of this!
This is just a psychic impression I have of Sarah Palin. I think she is the kind of leader who comes along now and then like Ronald Reagan, Margaret Thatcher, or Harry Truman. They almost accidentally end up in the right position at the right time. Their natural, God given gifts take over, and they perform brilliantly, and in the way their country needs most.
The press are harping about her inexperience. I don't care. After eight long years of Bush the Dumb, I am ready to take a chance on someone – ANYONE -- who can speak and think and analyze and listen – and whatnot. Imagine Sarah Palin is President, and the muslims pull one of their war starting stunts. She would be briefed on the situation, and aides would present various options. She strikes me as the kind of person who'd consider, ponder, think, pray, and then make the right decision. That's what we need in the White House. Someone who can communicate. Someone with common sense. Someone who isn't afraid to try new things. Someone who has faith. Someone who values life. Someone who is sober. Oh, and someone who is a babe and dresses well.
In the early 90's when Sarah Palin was getting started in local government, Barack Obama was probably organizing Rodney King riots in Chicago.
Obama's evil minions have been whispering about Governor Palin's daughter being quick with child. So? I think some of it is almost funny. A friend of mine said, "all that tells us is she puts out." That was wrong, and I am repeating it only as an example of the sort of thing one should not say. Jay Leno said John Edwards is the father. That was wrong too.
I sincerely wish the babydaddy, a young man named Levi Johnston, had not taken down his MySpace page before I had a chance to see it. Evidently, he is sort of a thug, which is a good quality to have if one plays hockey, and he does. "Sex on Skates," the New York Magazine called him. I read some place that on his now defunct MySpace page, he says the eff word a lot and promises to beat up anyone who crosses him. He sounds like he'd be sort of fun to watch and read about…in a "Billy Carter" sort of way. But Levi is one babydaddy who is going to wish he'd just gone home and watched porn. If you know what I'm sayin. The media are going to make his life miserable. Maybe, just MAYBE, he will slug someone, or at least tell a reporter to eff off on live camera.
I'd be willing to bet that for all the challenges they face, Bristol and Levi will marry and stay that way for about 65 years.
Still, I cannot imagine anything that is less relevant to this election than Bristol's pregnancy. I am glad she is going to have the baby, as he or she might grow up and cure cancer, or invent another boner pill. One never knows what one of the nearly 50 million aborted might have done. The dry comic Stephen Wright used to have a line in his routine. "I had a dream once. All the aborted babies came back, and boy were they pissed."
But I digress.
It is difficult to imagine the outrage if the Republicans started harping on Obama's mother. Girlfriend went to college in the early 60's, and she took up with, of all possible choices in Hawaii at that time, an exchange student from darkest Africa. Frrrl. I don't mean that racist. It had to be a real "Guess who's coming to Dinner" moment the first time daughter brought that dude home. Every parent's nightmare, especially in those days. Then what did the guy do? He ran off and left the young girl with THE OBAMASSIAH -- a baby, in a manger, wrapped in swaddling clothes and whatnot. She must have had some sort of muslim thing going, because she married another one, and the happy family ended up in a madrasa (مدرسة, for my muslim readers) in Indonesia. You can't make this stuff up. With Obama, is isn't necessary to fabricate.
I doubt the New York Times has ever run three front page stories of this juicy Obama stuff on the same day. Tuesday, the Times ran three front page stories about the Palin family. On the same day, son. None focused on young Track Palin, who is about to be deployed to Iraq, or on Governor Palin's hair care products. For a real shocker, look at the cover of this week's "Us" magazine. "Us" has always been a bit on the shady side.
So I am kind of proud of McCain for picking Sarah Palin as his running mate. I don't know what he was on when he decided to do it, but I hope he keeps taking it. The racist and sexist Obama picked an old white dude to be his running mate. See? With Obama, a sister doesn't have a chance. In contrast, McCain picked a gifted and intelligent woman, and "baby got back," as Obama would say when the cameras were turned off.
I mean everything I've written about Obama in a nice way.
I believe Governor Palin is going to electrify the convention, and she will attract the largest television audience since the last African who spoke in Denver. If this happens, they might win. It was a good sign that after Obama's satanic allies conjured up Hurricane Gustav to mess up the convention, McCain's evangelicals prayed it down to a category 2 – thus saving hot, smelly New Orleans, and the Republican National Convention in cool, clean Minneapolis. And Mary Richards.
With any luck, the ridiculous stories about Governor Palin will go away. Still, I fear that somewhere in Alaska, lives and lurks a mullet having, wife beater wearin', wal-mart shoppin', broke down car in the front yard havin', meth smokin' thug, who hung on to some nekkid pictures of Sarah Palin (he will claim she was his "fiancé," and that she would have wanted him to sell the pictures to "Hustler.") I hope not, but these things happen. Just ask Vanessa Williams.
Until the voices inside my head tell me to write again, I am,Randall P. Hodge, Esq.
©Randall P. Hodge, Esq., and Morningwood Enterprises, Ltd.
2 comments:
i just read this whole F***ing thing, twig
i had a jar of re4sin 'was inspired from your brain matter. your, SMRTY, mr smarty pants.
i told this chick id vote, so i'll just write your name on the ballod, or is it balle, or ballet.....
until the KraftworK,
Jonkie Dumplin,
Espn,
I have been waiting for this post! I kinda expected a rant last week during the DNC, and when you didn't, I was mildly disappointed. But I knew you couldn't pass up this opportunity. I, too, am awaiting Sarah's speech. I can't decide whether she will take the high road and stick to the basics, or if she will blast all of her naysayers (a la 'Harper Valley PTA' style). Should be interesting! Keep blogging! Randee Mac
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