Seth Myers, of "Saturday Night Live" fame put it best when he recently stated on "Weekend Update," that President George W. Bush "broke the world" during his Presidency. I agree. Bush broke it into a million tiny pieces. He wrecked it in almost every way the world CAN be wrecked. President Obama, who is shaping up to be a Chocolate Jimmy Carter, has tried to sweep up the pieces and gom them back together. He is making things worse, though.
For example, I wonder what possessed President Obama to give mindlessly idiotic gifts to Queen Elizabeth II and British Prime Minister Gordon Brown?
He gave Her Majesty the Queen a ghetto blaster and some Chaka Khan CD's. I don't get it, and I cannot envision her shucking and jiving about the palace with a boom box resting her 82-year old shoulder.
I'm jus' sayin'.
Obama gave (or most likely re-gifted) Prime Minister Gordon Brown a set of DVD's that won't even play on the PAL players used in the UK. Even if they'd play over there, what made the President think Brown or anyone in England would ever want to watch "Blacula," "Shaft," and "Good Times?"
There is more.
Barack Obama bowed down before a muslim emir. No American President has ever done such a thing.
In Turkey, a greasy muslim country famous for its picturesque prisons, the President declared the United States is no longer a Christian nation. I mean that in a nice way.
People I told you this was going to happen.
I fear the worst is still to come.
Look for the President to offer those wretched somalians one of our aircraft carriers if they'll please be nice and let our ships pass unmolested. He will give nukes to North Korea and Iran if they'll please be nice and not blow up Japan or Israel.
Chocolate Jimmy Carter, son.
And...
At present, no one is employed in America. Ninety-eight percent of all homes are in foreclosure -- even those without mortgages. Kal Penn, of "Harold and Kumar go to White Castle" fame, is now a senior member of White House Staff. Frrrl. I lie a lot about a great many things, but that is the troof.
The Mexicans have seized California, Arizona, New Mexico, Utah, and Texas. The Canadians briefly invaded Minnesota, but they got tired and went home.
The whole world is broken. People are poor, sad, afraid, hungry, nekkid, lonely, tired, fat, wet, Wal-Mart lookin', and seething with anger at somebody.
Sauron has risen in the east.
"King of the Hill" has been cancelled by Fox.
In the midst of all this, along comes Susan Boyle, who has captured the imagination of white people everywhere. I don't mean that racist. Miss Boyle is a frumpy, but delightfully charming 47-year old spinster from Scotland. (She looks a lot like me if I were taller and in drag). She appeared on a television program, "Britain's got Talent," and belted out a showtune from Les Miserables, "I Dreamed a Dream."
YouTube, Facebook, that awful Myspace, and many other websites are packed with postings and embeds of the video. Literally tens of millions of people have watched it. It's so grotesquely sappy and cheesy, it is almost sickening, but it's still quite something to witness the courage of this lady. She has an amazing and incredible voice. She also has an amazing and incredible future, and good for her.
So take a look at this video. Neither Bush, Obama, nor even the putrid untermenchen somalians could screw this up for us. Tomorrow, some fat moron will probably shoot up some folks, but today everyone was smiling about and pulling for my girl Susan Boyle.
Today, we Americans decided to take a short break from Obamadammerung.
Note: if this link doesn't work, it simply means someone has disabled it because they are racist and a terrorist. It is worth a google search to find it posted at some other site.
R.I.P., Bonnie(c) 2009 Randall P. Hodge, Esq., and Morningwood Enterprises, Ltd.
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