Even Canadians Couldn't Ruin "Knowing."

I seldom go to the movies because the film is rarely worth the price of admission. Too many people have poor manners when someone lets them out of their cages.

"White Gravy" treated me to a recent release, "Knowing," which stars Nicolas Cage (ugh), who normally ruins movies. I didn't recognize anyone else, other than a chick who was in "28 Days Later," which I don't even remember now. There were a couple of kids, some trees, a few spectacular special effects, and a group of creepy guys who looked like they escaped from "Boo Radley Land." My popcorn cost $9.00.

I agreed to see this one (as it was free) because fat Roger Ebert gave it a fat endorsement. When Ebert says it is good, it is almost always good. He and I have similar tastes in film and, apparently, food and non-working weight reduction techniques.

I don't know enough about movies to review them. I know a good movie when I see it. Kind of like the old Supreme Court standard for porn. "I know it when I see it, "said Justice (Harry) Potter Stewart. I'm sure he did. The Supreme Court never turns down porn cases, son.

"Knowing" was a great movie -- the best one I've seen since Jesus' favorite, "The Lord of the Rings."

Please don't get me started on the Canadians who sat both in front and behind me. They really do talk (loudly) all the way through movies in theatres. This is not a stereotype.

We should invade them like Poland.


I thought "Knowing" would be like a Hugh Grant flick, or maybe a Jane Austen adaptation, but no. Canadians don't usually tap those kinds of films, so to speak. Alas, the theater was crawling with them. I started to complain to the 12-year old manager of the theater, but I know from past experiences what the answer will be, "I'm sorry sir, but there is nothing we can do about Canadians. They are a peculiar species. They do what they want."

Go see "Knowing." Take a knife and stab some people if they talk loudly Or, spill a $45 jumbo-rama size cup of soda all over them. Just tell them, "Oh Snap! My bad, dawg," and all will be well.

I was not aware of this peculiar event that occurred recently. President Obama agreed to speak at Georgetown University, the nation's top Catholic school. It is run by the Jesuits, the Order that supplied the noble priest who almost succeeded in exorcising the demon right out of poor Linda Blair in "The Exorcist."

But I digress.

Get this. The White House insisted that Georgetown "cover up all religious symbols and signs while the president was on stage."

"WTF," as they say on 4Chan.

I didn't believe this when I first read it, but it is true. Check out this story.

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/first100days/2009/04/16/georgetown-university-hid-religious-symbols-white-house-request/

No crosses, religious symbols, Communion items and whatnot were permitted while "Damian" Obama was in the building. My theory is the President is a muslim vampire who cannot abide the sight of a crucifix or anything that would remind him of the Baby Jesus, which would also include this symbol:

These letters represent the Name of Jesus in Greek.

Something isn't quite right about Obama, and I suspect more will be revealed. In the meantime, we can all watch "Hal Lindsey" for comfort and reassurance that all is ending as he predicted in "The Late Great Planet Earth."

Jus' sayin'. Never hatin'.

Except for talkative Canadians in movie theaters.

(c) 2009 Randall P. Hodge, Esq., and Morningwood Enterprises, Ltd.