 | Fried Chicken, Fat Clothes, & Pigment Enhancement
Current mood:  content
Category: Life Drove over to Okarche with a bunch of my hip friends to eat chicken at Eischen’s famous fried chicken.
I had a bbq beef sandwich because I don’t eat things with my bare hands. It ain’t natural. People stared. The waiter thought I was weird. I hate friend chicken unless it is boneless, covered with gravy, and I can eat it with a knife and fork. We were all carnivorous.
A good time was had by all. Robbie rode with me, which was nice. Since I drove my own car, I was in charge. If someone hurt my feelings, as if so often the case, I’d simply get in the car, pack up my toys, and head home. Didn’t happen.
Coby is back from a "spa" in Ardmore. Hope he catches the good life we enjoy.
Stopped at Target on the way home and bought some more fat clothes. It would be cheaper to exercise and lose weight, but I don’t want to do that. If I could lose 15-20 lbs., I could wear the clothes that used to fit before I started to eat actual food again.
I’d run, but it is too far, and it is stupid. I’d lift weights, but they are too heavy, and lifting is also stupid. I should take up ice skating again. Last time I was this grotesque, it was 1994. I started skating and watching my fat gram intake and, miraculously, the weight fell off. That isn’t rocket science. I just need to change a habit or pick up a new one.
Or get some diet pills. Now that is a plan.
I used to say "a person can’t be too thin." I’m now saying, "this person (me) actually can get even fatter."
There’s something trippy about being thin like I was this time last year. People constantly told me I’d lost too much weight, or "have you been sick?"
There’s nothing trippy about feeling FAT, even while wearing sweat pants. I feel...I feel very typical wal-mart shopper.
Jack and Robbie got good haircuts. Austin is going to graduate. Tate WENT to Austin. Always wanted to visit that place. Derek was cold because he forgot his jacket. I noted with interest someone had clipped their finger nails and left the droppings where I sat. I’ll never get that one. Might was well wipe boogers on the wall.
I have a sponsor now. I might actually work the steps, as he is my hero. If I complete this mission, he might say something nice to me, and also maybe I won’t die. I must also remember to ask him about my amphetamine weight loss plan. Perhaps he will approve it.
And I discovered one of my lodgers put a bunch of Tool on my computer. Other hip bands too. I’m 26 again. Yes, it was that easy to go back.
HFB to Brian and Andrew.
Auf Wienersehen,
RPH, Esq., N.V.
P.S. It appears if one says anything remotely negative about Obama, he/she is branded a racist, and must resign any and all crap with which he/she was affiliated. I’m going to start calling Obama a white dude. I heard he injects his skin with a darkening pigment, which is the opposite of what Michael Jackson did when he decided to go all white on us. |
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