Gavin Rossdale Speaks...

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Gavin Rossdale Speaks... Current mood: accomplished Category: Music My hero, Sir Gavin Rossdale, was the lead singer of the greatest band in history, BUSH. I know he hasn't been knighted, but he will be. He has just released a new single, "Love remains the Same," which will be on his upcoming album. I downloaded it for ninety-nine cents from Napster, and it's a great song, albeit a bit on the bubble gum cheesy side, but this is Gavin Rossdale, and he could sing gibberish and I'd buy it. In fact, he already has, and I have. But it's good gibberish, and I have my own theories about what he was saying. Not everyone knows this, but Gavin Rossdale speaks to me through his music. I'm not referring to the typical phony kind of message through music "to go kill people, leave something witchy and start a race war" stuff that Charles Manson claims he heard from the White Album by the Beatles. No, Gavin really talks to me. Tells me all kinds of cool stuff about Gwen Stefani, and Baby Kingston Rossdale, and future Baby Rossdale, who is due some time this summer. The happy and beautiful couple have been married since 2002, which is probably a record among deity. I often reveal secrets about people, places and things and, coincidentally, my sources won't let me pony up any proof whatsoever of my allegations. But if I end a sentence with "I'm just sayin'," from the hilarious TMZ website, you can rest assured it is the whole troof. Plus, when a lawyer tells you something, it is fact. When a lawyer asks you a question, you are compelled by law to answer that question immediately, or you will go to jail. Even if you aren't under oath. I've actually used that on people to get them to tell me stuff that is none of my business. At this time, I have only been authorized to reveal "Love remains the Same" is a great song. Download it now, or die. Also, I can tell you that Gavin and Gwen have lots of fun sometimes. I'd never leave the house if I were them. When I have a moment, I want to tell you all about the Red Chinese and the crap they're pulling all over the place. That'll have to wait, as I must watch tonight's "all new" episode of "The Office." I hope the DVR wasn't full of stupid crap I haven't had time to watch. Plus, if I keep listening to this song by Gavin Rossdale, perhaps he'll let me tell you something. Provided, I stay "at least 1000 miles from said singer and members of his (Rossdale's) family, friends, homes, automobiles, trash, drain pipes, and pet feces." RPH, Esq., N.V.