Cocks Cable, Builder's Square & Mal-Wart

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Cocks Cable, Builder’s Square & Wal-Mart Current mood: angsty Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping Yesterday I shared some of my frustration with Cox Cable in Oklahoma City. Cox, or Cocks, as many customers call the media giant, has always been arrogant. Rather non-responsive to customer complaints or suggestions. Slowly, satellite television is growing. Why? MORE CHANNELS FOR LESS MONEY from Direct TV and Dish. The little grey dishes are not that bad looking to me. That little dish is bringing into that humble home, the bountiful joy of television. I've never heard anyone complain about satellite service. But people love to complain about Cox. Cocky companies traditionally have not fared so well in America. That is because of competition. Before the coming of Wal-Mart -- (which is secretly owned, I should add, by Sauron) -- shoppers had to trade with the local mom and pop stores. Our memories are nostalgic, often broadcast in black and white and AM. In truth, particularly in small towns, those stores didn't have a lot of variety. Prices were often ridiculous. This is the deal – take it or leave it. What was a brother going to do, drive to Dallas for a birthday gift for teacher or girl friend? Nope, we brothers paid the price at the 5&10. I dislike Wal-Mart, but sometimes I'll don a disguise and shop there. I find it useful to bring along a lawn chair for the check-out line, as they are from hell. I'd bet the Super Wal-Mart at Belle Isle in Oklahoma City has 30-40 registers. There are normally only three to five open. Maybe. There are often close to seven million people in there shopping at one time. It's like Shanghai in more ways than one. For this and many other reasons, Target is my choice. Wow. It is a pleasure to shop in a Target, even if I'm broke. Wide, clean aisles. Nicely stocked shelves with items made in other places besides Red Comm'niss'China. The clerks are terrific. The rest rooms in Target don't smell like a roadside toilet on the interstate either. That's because Target cleans them. Wal-Mart has a slight struggle with the funked up restrooms. I understand there are people in this world who can take a dump in Wal-Mart. I myself cannot. But some people do, and they are exactly the kinds of people who should do that at home, or preferably in the deep woods. Yes, cocky businesses usually get theirs in the end. Remember Builder's Square? There used to be one near NW 36th and May Avenue. When I first bought my home, I constantly needed something. Builder's Square was the only such store nearby. It was famous among my neighbors and me because the store had the rudest, least helpful clerks in America. "You practically have to BEG them to wait on you," said one. I normally drew a clerk who'd perfected the art of sighing and rolling his eyes. They were always out of the item I needed. Then along came the great Home Depot. The service was unbelievable. I felt guilty asking for anything, as they gushed with service and politeness. Customers were quickly spoiled by Home Depot. Builder's Square was quickly boarded up and closed. For a few months they tried to hang on; the clerks even feigned being nice and helpful for awhile. But it was too late. Now Lowe's is giving Home Depot a run. Could this happen to the great and powerful Wal-Mart? Sure. Most of us already hate the place. But we'd be lost if we couldn't head down there and buy a room air conditioner for $4.00. Wal-Mart is useful for one other thing: eat a few diet pills and head down there at 3:00 a.m. Hang with the other tweekers who are shopping and the tweekers who are stocking shelves. Then buy the biggest bunch of crap you can imagine. When you're done, you realize you were in the store for like seven hours. But it was something to do. I've often wondered about Wal-Marts in China. Wouldn't it be swell if all the items there were made in the United States? It probably doesn't matter. In the end we'll all be speaking some sort of hybrid Chinese/Spanish dialect. Wait. I won't. RPH, Esq. N.V. ©Randall P. Hodge, Esq. 2008