Obama the Gay muslim Anti-Christ

Monday, March 10, 2008

Obama the Gay muslim Anti-Christ Current mood: overstimulated Category: News and Politics I was only being my usual goofy, rumor-spreading self when I claimed Michelle Obama was actually one of Saruman's Uruk-Hai warriors. She looks like one, and I mean that in a kind way. Seems I'm not the first nut to say this. I don't claim to be totally original, but I try. Several other blogging nerds have made the same comparison. I believe I'll continue to claim Saruman created Michelle Obama, as I think it is funny, and if it scares just one person into voting for that awful Hilary Clinton, then my effort will be worth it. Nicholas Kristoff wrote an interesting op-ed piece in Sunday's New York Times. His theme was the "muslim question" that continues to dog Obama. The knucklehead should have changed his first, middle and last name a long time ago, if he didn't want people to think he was a moozlim. Obama's daddy was a muslim. Obama went to muslim schools in Indonesia, of all places (largest muslim population on earth, if you don't count the Klingons). The "church" he attends in Chicago is only vaguely Christian – it might as well be Unitarian. His "minister" is a whack job who honored Louis Farrakhan. Farrakhan, the notorious muslim and über hater of Israel, I should add. The NAZIS would have denounced Farrakhan. Lastly, Obama's grandmother holds a pet chicken in her lap – a known muslim custom. I think. So yeah. He's a muslim. Spread it, spread it, spread it. Kristoff also wrote of rumors that Barack Obama is the "Anti-Christ." Let us not forget that Damien Thorn was from Chicago in "The Omen II." So is Obama. Coincidence? Connection? You be the judge. I think people who spread this dumb stuff are national heroes. God BLESS them and the internet. Could Obama be the man foretold in the Book of Revelation? The Son of Satan who was foretold by Nostradamus? Absolutely. I saw a picture of Obama, sans chicken, at a totally legit website, and sure enough – three sixes right below his big ear. Fuhreeel. I stopped by the ghetto Buy 4 Less so I could stock up on non fresh unshelled, but stale as hell, it turned out - peanuts. Thanks Buy 4 Less, and I'm sorry I don't speak Spanish. While standing in the eternal check-out line, I noted with glee that all the tabloids have cover stories about Obama. One claimed he has a "gay past." It featured a photo of a shirtless, "teen idol" Barack Obama, and his older male love interest. Another offered an expose on his "mulatto" roots. Mulatto is not a word one often hears these days, although it was a racial category on the census form up until 1930. It means half and half. Wouldn't it be fun if someone like Senator Robert Byrd was caught on tape referring to Obama as a "mulatto?" We can only hope, even though the press would ignore it. With all this juicy stuff sliming around about Senator Obama, surely something is true. A gay muslim boy toy alien mulatto with three overly ethnic names – and a chicken – whose wife was created at Isengard. As Don Imus says, "you just can't make this up." Well, I can, with the help of some tabloids and 'shrooms. I still hope that awful Hilary annihilates Barack. He would be a disaster. You can bet most of these mean rumors originate with the Clinton campaign. The Clintons framed Manson; they are the ultimate MAN, and they can bring down Barack Hussein Osama. I hope. I'm kidding about the 'shrooms. I think. RPH, Esq., N.V.