The Pope of Obama’s Chinese Body Parts

Thursday, April 17, 2008

The Pope of Obama’s Chinese Body Parts Category: News and Politics The new Pope is visiting the United States. He seems like a good man. He is tough and conservative. He probably wishes Vatican II hadn't ruined his church. Maybe he'll bring back the formal Latin Mass and get rid of the hippies with flip flops, pony tails and guitars. After all, Latin is spoken in Heaven. I'm one Episcopalian who still misses the Pope John Paul II. My dreams of his successor -- a Pope who was secretly in the SS in Austria or Germany during World War II -- were dashed when I learned Cardinal Ratzinger had only been in the Hitler Youth. Still, Kurt Waldheim is still a rock star after all these years. We are definitely running out of Nazis to pick on. In other news, Senator Obama and his hideous wife released their tax returns. It seems Barack and Michelle earned and reported $4.2 BILLION in income in 2007! The salary of a United States Senator is but $169,000.00. That's not a lot of money in Washington, D.C., or in Chicagoland, the home base of Obama's nefarious criminal, political, and islamic empire. But it's still a lot of money. Press reports indicate the Obamas made all this extra money from the sale of the Senator's cheesy and self-promoting books, "My Baby's Mama: the Michelle Uhura Obama Story," and "The Audacity of Hope that White People will stop complaining and go back to Europe." That's a lot of money from two boring books that one can buy at Barnes & Noble now for about fit-ty cent a piece. How is this possible? Why won't the Obamas explain how they turned so little money into so much? Cattle futures? Whitemail? Clipping coupons? Public schools? Re-financing? Doubtful. I think I know. I have this information from Gavin Rossdale himself. The Obamas have for some time been heavily involved in the trade of human body parts from communist red China, owner of Mal-Wart and the United States of America. Yes. Yes, this is sick and wrong, but it is lucrative like cookin' dope if you don't get caught. This is why the Obamas are gettin' paid like Oprah. Barack's thugs roam the Chinese countryside seeking whom they can kidnap, and from whom they can harvest kidneys, lungs, hearts, brains, eyes, and wieners. These parts are cosmetically enhanced, enlarged or reduced where appropriate. Next, they are quick frozen, boxed, and shipped to Obama's secret distribution warehouse located near Bentonville, Arkansas, headquarters of Mal-Wart. From the Bentonville warehouse, located deep within the Bentonville Mountains, the body parts are sold to medical facilities around the world, ostensibly as genuine "organ donor body parts." They are shipped complete in an individual collector's ice chest, as seen on TV. Are Obama, communist red China and Mal-Wart Connected? Fishy? Conspiracy? Almost certainly. Ghoulish? Not really, no. Wish I'd thought of it. This kind of scam requires a lot of money, and such financing has to come from deep pockets. The Mafia? Nope, the government cheated and ruined the mafia in the 80's. Word is that Mal-Wart has been behind this thing all along. There is a reason why 97.5% of all the crap in Mal-Wart was made by the red communist Chinese. It's all connected. It's a conspiracy. A conspiracy so vast and so complicated, it will take a new, Pentagon-size cabinet level department to sort it all out. And McCain is the idiot who'll likely create three or four more of those things. All I know is the Obamas did not make $4.2 BILLION from hawking books about putrid Michelle Obama and sending white people back to Europe. Wait. Hold on. Oh, they made $4.2 MILLION in 2007. Never mind. But I still think they are into selling stolen body parts from communist red China. RPH, Esq., N.V. ©2008 Randall P. Hodge, Esq.